What I learned in life..

While growing up, I never thought I would learn from my children.  But once I looked into the eyes of my first child, I knew I wanted him to go far and be more than I ever was.  I wanted him to work hard in life and never give up.  I started teaching him those strong values from the moment I brought him home from the hospital.  And I have worked very hard to instill this in each of my children. 

            Some say that all mothers want and strive for their children to go far, and don’t want them to ever give up.  Mothers want their children to learn and be intelligent members of society.  But for me, it goes deeper than that.  My determination for my children’s success derives from my childhood.  It comes from what I didn’t have, but always wanted.  It comes from my lack of self-motivation as a child.  Because of my lack of interest in reading and learning as a child, I struggled all through school, just too barely make it.  I was determined, no matter what, that my children were going to be different. 

            As an adolescent, I felt very lonely and I guess you could say a bit depressed.  My father left what I was seven with giving no explanation as to why.  I went from having my mom home, to her having to work two jobs to support us.  I never got to see her.  My brother and I were always at the baby sitters house.  Even though I knew my mom couldn’t help the situation, it got very lonely.  I started to act out.  Instead of reading, coloring, or playing board games like my neighbors, my brother and I would run the streets.  We would always play on the railroad tracks and throw rocks at one another and even the other children in the neighborhood.  One day, we thought it would be a lot of fun to catch the woods on fire.  After the fire department and my mother were called, we no longer thought it was fun!  Being rebellious children and grounded were not a great combination.  The worst part was seeing how dissapointed my mother was.   As a child, I didn’t think about how this behavior would affect me. When I got older, I realized what a mistake I was making of my life.

            Despite all of my negative emotions and behaviors, there were also many happy moments.  I remember sitting down with my grandma when she came to visit, listening to her read to me.  Although I couldn’t remember anything about the books when she was done, because I wasn’t really listening, I still enjoyed the fact that she read to me.  I enjoyed the loving attention that came from those times.  My grandma is the type of person that believes in rewarding with books.  Her philosophy is that reading encourages more reading.  So, every birthday, my brother and I would get a book or two. In the third grade, she passed to me my aunt’s full collection of the “Bobbsey Twins”, expecting me to read every single one of them.  They sat in the bottom of my closet, in the same box she shipped them in, for about eight years. At that time, I passed them to my niece for her first birthday.  I had hoped that one day she could get some use from them.  She is now eleven and has read all of them.  She claims they were wonderful books!  I always did think about picking them up and reading, but I never could get passed the first chapter of any book without getting discouraged.  I just didn’t understand reading, and wouldn’t go back.       Because of my being lonely as a child and choosing to focus on the more negative things in life, I struggled all through school.  I chose to not push myself to learn more than the basics and chose to not read or write passed the must have assignments.  I would see others around me truly succeed, while I barely passed by.  My peers made great grades, had an extensive vocabulary, and wrote awesome stories.  I was discouraged because I made average grades.  I always wanted to succeed and to be more, but never had the drive to do what it took to actually be better.  By the time I realized what I needed to do for my future, it was too late.  I was having my first child.

    

     

            When I brought my first child home, I already had a bookshelf full of books ready to be used.  And that’s faithfully what I did.  I made sure I read to him every day.  I used every moment as a teaching experience.  During every bath, I had magnetic letters that I would practice the alphabet with him.  We counted everything from acorns in the yard, to tiles in the bathroom.  I sang to him, ask him every question under the sun, like “why do you think the grass is green?”, or “Have you ever saw a fish swim so fast, how does it do that?”.  I wanted to tell him about everything in his surroundings.  In return, he realized how much there was to learn, and was eager to know.  I was determined that he was going to have that drive in life that I didn’t.  With each of my children, I have showed them the importance of education, and they have taught me that I do have that determination needed for success in life.  I have been eager to teach them, and they have been driven to learn.

           Even though I didn’t respond as a child through my grandma, she showed me the importance of reading, and I now am able to show my children who do respond.  Because of her, I now reward my children with a new book instead of a toy or piece of candy.  We sit down as a family to read, instead of watching television. The amazing thing is that my children look forward to this.  They look forward to the Saturday trips to the library and to the outings to Ollie’s, which is the best place to buy inexpensive children’s books.  My children are full of knowledge, that as a child I thought was useless, but my boys want more.

     

            Because of my determination for my children to be more, they are more!  By the time my oldest was two, he could write his name and tell you what every letter was, and he could say and identify numbers 1 through 10 in English and Spanish.  Now he is nine years old and can spell just about every word you ask him to.  My middle son, Dakota, is currently in the second grade and reading sixth grade chapter books.  We are not allowed to go to the library and pick up anything less than a big book.  He is adding a subtracting like a wiz. And he is very adamant about visiting Europe.  My youngest, Jacob, is in kindergarten and starting to read and spell.  I must say, it makes me proud that his favorite words to spell are, mom and dad.  Their intelligence shows me that no matter where you come from, as long as you are determined, you will go far. I want to thank my grandma for my determination.  If it weren’t for her introducing me to literature and always being consistent with reading, where would my children be today?